FILM REVIEW: Godzilla (2014)

124 minutes. Directed by Gareth Edwards. Starring Aaron Taylor Johnson, Elizabeth Olson, Ken Watanabe, Sally Hawkins and Bryan Cranston. Canada: Rated PG for Violence and Frightening Scenes.

WARNING: THIS REVIEW IS RIFE WITH SPOILERS. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE YET, PLEASE AVOID THIS REVIEW ENTIRELY UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN IT. DO NOT SAY I DID NOT WARN YOU!

Well. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done a big review like this, and I don’t think any film is more deserving than Godzilla. There’s a number of reasons the hype around it has been monumental as of late; it’s the first American Godzilla movie since 1998’s failed attempt at giving Hollywood its own Godzilla; it’s the first Godzilla movie in ten years altogether since the rather disappointing 2004 film “Final Wars; and it’s being released on the 60th anniversary of Godzilla. And I must add, it’s the first truly impressive film of the summer; it starts the summer movie season off in fine style, and hopefully it’s the beginning of many more Godzilla movies to come. Wishful thinking? Maybe, but this Godzilla will for sure have lots of longevity, if I do say so myself.

The film is the closest to perfection any Godzilla movie has been since 1954. That’s a bold statement, but it’s the first film since the 1954 movie that’s been ever-so-close to total perfection. It’s everything you want in a Godzilla movie, and everything you don’t know you want, too. There is but a small gripe I have with the film that prevents it from being perfect, but I’ll explain that later. I’ve seen the movie twice as of writing, and I can tell you it’s stayed with me since.

The film is already impressive off the bat with the opening titles. The opening titles are similar to the 1998 movie, with the titles being shown over footage of nuclear tests, but they’re done way better here. Whereas in 1998 we are treated to generic font over what looks like footage that was shot through a jar of urine, here we’re shown old newsreel footage, and every credit is shown in paragraphs, designed to look like they’re ripped straight from scientific reports. The non-credit parts are suddenly whited-out to show the “DIRECTED BY GARETH EDWARDS” type stuff. In addition, Alexandre Desplat’s score is just magnificent. It’s not the typical Hans Zimmer “BWOOOOONG” that seems dominant in tons of music scores today. In fact, the score is very nostalgic throughout, with some influence taken from classic blockbusters and even Bernard Herrman’s Hitchcock scores, with even a dash of Cliff Martinez.

The bulk of the film follows Ford Brody, played by Aaron Taylor Johnson. Much of the first half deals with his complicated relationship with his father Joe (Bryan Cranston)- in fact, near the beginning of the film, we see the tragedy that has estranged them both- they lived in Japan in 1999, when Ford was (I think- they never quite make it clear how old he is) 12 years old. At the Janjira power plant in Janjira, something of a large earthquake happens which causes a radiation burst, causing Joe to lose his wife (Juliette Binoche) in the disaster. Fifteen years later, Ford is an EOD in the American military, has a wife named Elle (Elizabeth Olson) and an adorable little boy named Sam. On the very night he arrives home from service, he gets a call from officials, telling him that Joe was arrested for trespassing in a quarantine area. So he heads to Japan to sort things out with his dad, who reveals that he was in the area where their house was, to get floppy discs containing data about the disaster. So they go to the house the next day only to find that there’s no radiation left, and they get the discs, only to be arrested- AGAIN, and taken to the Janjira plant.

This is where we are introduced to the central conflict: the MUTO (massive unidentified terrestrial organism). There’s a large, nest-like object at the plant, and after some interrogation, the officials at the plant- in particular, a pair of researchers named Ishiro Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and Vivenne Graham (Sally Hawkins), who suddenly notice what he’s talking about and realize he is indeed correct. The nest looks about ready to hatch, and officials order the workers to kill it- but they fail, and we get our first glimpse of the MUTO. These things look like a cross between tarantulas and bats- they’re huge, and absolutely TERRIFYING. After an attack at the plant, the military is ordered to follow the MUTO wherever it goes.

Now I know what you’re thinking at this point. “What about Godzilla, that IS what the movie is called. Right?” Well, here it’s where they reveal Godzilla. In the military carrier named the USS Saratoga, Ford is brought into a room where they show him footage of supposed nuclear tests on 1954 that weren’t, in fact, tests. They were attempts to kill the creature they call, “Gojira”. It is revealed that Gojira is on the move too, but they don’t know where. And at this point, it’s an hour into the film, and we get our first glimpse of the beast here. In Hawaii, the MUTO from earlier in the movie and a wing-less MUTO attack. One has knocked a submarine into the rainforest and another is attacking the airport. At the airport is where we see the titular creature. After a tsunami, he appears, and stomps over to the airport in what might be one of the coolest reveals I’ve ever seen. A full pan up his body to his face revealing a horrifying sinister grin, before he lets out his infamous “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOONNNNNKKKKK!!!” roar that has made him such a household name.

I’ll stop with the spoiling right there because the rest is too good. It’s true that Godzilla’s screentime is mostly limited to the final act, but the thing is, that is hardly a problem because the rest of the film surrounding his appearance is so fucking good. There’s tons of suspense and intrigue. One thing the film really does good is show how substantial the damage is- not by showing the attacks outright but showing the aftermath- the presence of the MUTO attacks is felt through those shots, which only makes the actual attack that much more horrifying. The film does a good job at making us care for the characters too, and you also really hope that Ford will make it home on time too.

The cinematography in the film is just magnificent. I fully recommend the IMAX experience- in fact, for the cinematography alone the price is worth it. The aerial shots of Japan, San Francisco, Hawaii, etc. in particular are just awesome. Gareth Edwards’ direction is magnificent and he has an eye for detail. Whereas most monster/disaster movies show the attacks and what not outright, he chooses to limit your perspective of the attacks and what not to small doses. This is incredibly effective so then you won’t feel tired of the film by the time the final battle swings around. One problem I have with the Transformers movies is that by the time the final battle swings around, I’ve sat through so much destruction and chaos that I’m ready for it to end, my arse becomes numb and there really is no reason for it to be as long as it is. That isn’t the case with Godzilla. It’s just a few minutes over two hours, and it goes by very quickly. Transformers feels like it’s ten hours long, but Godzilla makes such good use of its runtime that it goes by quickly, and if anything, you wouldn’t mind if it went on for longer because your attention is held firmly.

And yes, I am indeed praising the rather limited Godzilla screentime. By the time Godzilla shows up for the final battle, you’ve gone for so long without him that you don’t even care he’s been out of the movie for so long, and that is because the scenes with the MUTOs are satisfying, the drama is satisfying, and the characters work. The final battle is spectacular. The battle starts when Big G and the MUTO arrive in San Francisco, and it does indeed cut away quite a bit, but not like it bothers me at all. We see a whole battle in full when the HALO Jump bit as seen in the trailers begins. The battle itself is just wicked, if you’re like me and you took great joy in watching a guy in a ridiculous rubber suit battling another guy in a rubber suit, the battle feels almost like an updated version of that. Garett’s attention to detail also shows here- when we finally see his atomic breath, his spines light up one by one, only making it more exciting. Godzilla is just brutal on the MUTO, but the MUTO also are pretty brutal, given the size. And yes, Godzilla is indeed seen as an anti-hero in the film. He has no quarrel with the humans and only intends on killing the MUTO and nobody else. He still leaves people dead in his wake, but it’s clear he doesn’t intend to and is happy to be away from civilization.

Oh, and the final minute of the movie is amazing too. I won’t give it away, but it’s chilling. Synced with Desplat’s score, it’s just beautiful.

Overall, I give the film a 9/10. Not since The Avengers has the summer season started off so satisfyingly. If I had one gripe, it’s a small one at that, it’s that there is a bit too much MUTO screentime, but that doesn’t take away too much. I strongly advise you to see this film with the biggest screen possible- IMAX especially. I saw it in AVX and while it was satisfying there, IMAX was even better. I for sure look forward to seeing it a third time, and eventually owning the movie when it comes out on blu-ray- in fact, I can’t wait already to hear Big G’s roar shake my BOSE sound system!!!

***highly recommended!!!***

SCOTT’S MAIDEN VOYAGE: Milan 2013 (a.k.a. “Preggo!”)

Well, I took a great sigh of relief after my check-in at the Barcelona international airport, because it was my (hopefully) last ever flight with Vueling. In case it wasn’t obvious enough from my last post, I can’t fucking stand that shitty excuse for an airline. Let me count the reasons why: the planes are old and custy as fuck, the legroom is minimal at best, and they pay the same fucking songs OVER AND FUCKING OVER. I lost count of the amount of times I heard “Somebody That I Used To Know”, and on this flight, it even played as we were taking off. I kinda had to chortle. If I didn’t have that Big Mac at 5 in the AM for breakfast, I’d have been miserable as fuck.

But, when landing in Milan, all was gone with regards to the bad. Actually, the first sentence of that paragraph is a lie, I landed at the Malpensa airport, which is an hour away from Milan. Thankfully they have a train service, because I wasn’t about to take a damned taxi for an hour ride and have at least €300 wasted. Ouch. The train was luckily only €8 for a ride, and I was lucky enough to catch one right the minute I got down the stairs, as it took off. The trains themselves are huge.

I’m still unsure what that mist was supposed to be.

It’s big. Yes, I’m referring to a train.

I really tried hard not to fall asleep, because despite having no sleep before the flight, I needed as much focus as possible for Maiden. I wasnt going to nap when I got to the hostel, because I wanted to get my train route to and from the nearest metro station all figured out. Problem with Milan is that they charge for the outside urban area, which I’ll explain later. After I arrived t the main train station, I needed wi-fi if I was going to get the metro route all figured out, so I stopped at a cafe across the street that’s as big as your grandmother’s retirement home suite. I had some Dolci, as I was feeling quite hungry and drained of energy (which I somewhat got back later). Basically all I needed was to get to a train station that had a stop that included “Rhofiera” on the line. All that and I was good.

I took a taxi to the hostel, called Minas hostel. It’s pretty much the top room of an Italian apartment complex; multiple rooms and no keys to lock the doors, which I guess wasn’t too much to worry about, as the owner had one of those doors installed, where to lock it is operated by a dial. Kind of like a safe, almost. But the owner would flip his shit if I tried to take a key to lock the door. Honestly, what if someone went berserk and went all Anthony Perkins in Psycho on me? Anyways, before heading to Rho Fiera, I seeked out a store that sold shampoo, because I ran out of my travel pack shampoo. I got a not too expensive bottle for €3, took it back to the hostel (only just around the corner, conveniently), and headed for the train station.

The trains themselves are as huge as the airport trains. They were even double deckers on some cars. I believe the ride was 15 minutes, and only a few stops. Luckily I paid the extra for a day pass that includes the outer urban area surcharge, smart move on my part. I’m surprised I could navigate worth shit, because very few of the machines have an English option and it’s frankly all “boobity boppity” to me, where as I can understand some Spanish and French. Italian I was walking on eggshells to find an English option.

Anyways, the Rhofiera looks like it used to be an industrial complex. The outside of it looks like it belongs to a factory and the Sonisphere festival was held in what was essentially a courtyard and parking lot. Predictably, as it’s a festival, the lineup was long as I arrived, and after a mishap regarding my paper ticket sheet I got in an email, I was told by the guards to go back to the box office and to exchange it for a ticket. Which was great, because I got an actual ticket, and not just that- it said “Iron Maiden” instead of simply “Sonisphere Festival”. Magic!

I’ll take a moment to note that I was getting good vibes the moment I began approaching the ticket line. In a few words, this shit was the GOODS! I wasn’t even inside the festival site yet, and I was excited, running on strong Italian coffee and no sleep. You look around, and notice bootleg traders, sellers of metal records, hot dog huts, beer salesmen, the list goes on and on. Hey, I’m a trooper, I figured I got past the hard stuff and deserved a beer, so I ordered a beer, and sipped away as I walked to the ticket gate. As I approached the site, the mood was more and more exciting, as I could hear Voodoo Six just finishing their set, and Ghost beginning their ghoulish set. And as I walked into the site, I heard “Per Aspera Ad Infini” ring out from the speakers.

Gigging we go, only Metal on our side…

With regards to one of the claims made above, this…

…became this.

The site is bleedin’ HUGE. This is what every metal fan wants. This is what they pay good money for; a huge festival site, excellent sound, food hits, beer huts, etc. the list goes on and on…

Ghost were pretty good, but much to the bafflement of some of the fans, they didn’t play “Secular Haze”, but did play “Year Zero” (which is a bigger hit than the former). Nonetheless they played a good selection of some stuff from the new album and “Ritual”. They encouraged crowd participation when they closed out with “Monstrance Clock”. And left the crowd in some good vines, I must add. From there on, Mastodon was next, but I had 2 bands to go before Maiden. Well, I was also interested in Megadeth. So I went to what was a Red Bull van with a band on top. And to my surprise, the singer was Cristina Scabbia. Which I found odd, because Lacuna Coil wasn’t on the bill, but this was an impromptu jam session with Rezophonic, an Italian Alternative Rock band. They played mostly covers, including a ripping rendition of “Highway to Hell”. Knowing that at this point, Lacuna Coil are popular enough to headline big arenas, it was cool to be right at her feet pretty much. And hearing her speak Italian was pretty sexy, I won’t lie.

I’ll be honest here, Mastodon wasn’t my thing. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find them impressive as musicians, because they really are, but an hour of pure wankery live is just boring to me. In fact, I met up with a member of the Greek FC, and he shared the same opinion as me. But next was Megadeth, who I couldn’t miss, and as predicted, Megadeth were nothing short of fantastic. They played a ripping set from beginning to end, thankfully keeping Super Collider stuff to a minimum. They began with “Trust” and ended with “Holy Wars”. They actually ended up playing a full 80 minutes, and that inc,used an encore. Thankfully Mr. Dave Mustaine had the decency to keep his mouth shut, as a few nights before, he was reported to have made some homophobic remarks, and according to my cousin Mike, ranted for 5 minutes about the US government on the “Countdown to Extinction Anniversary” tour. And whole I’ve always been against “A Tout le Monde” being a duet, it was done well with Cristina Scabbia. And before you know it, the funniest sight had occurred: Ashley Groom came out and sat to the side of the stage like a lug watching their set. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen! He looked very clearly like the traveling was finally getting to him too.

The award for “most photogenic Metalhead” goes to… the man behind me!

It’s panini time, bitches!

Anyways, 30 minutes of waiting, the lights finally dim, “Rising Mercury” blares, and the place erupts like a fucking volcano. It’s still light out, which did kind of kill the mood- a tour like this is definitely best in a closed top coliseum. But nonetheless I was still excited, and I had very little voice left, literally. And that didn’t matter when the pyros went off and Maiden came running onstage. They went on through “Moonchild” and “Can I Play With Madness” with the gusto of soldiers not letting invaders take their land, and the crowd ate every particle of it up. I was already getting a Latin American vibe from the crowd, as they sang to every instrumental part. I was forgetting that I could barely even speak and was all energized despite no sleep and screaming my fucking lungs out at Muse the night earlier.

Before “Afraid to Shoot Strangers”, Bruce even noticed somebody in the crowd who was a tad too used to him wearing a beanie hat on the tour, who had a sign that read, “Bruce, please give me your cap!”. Bruce responded by pointing at his head and saying, “I’m not wearing one!”. Too hilarious! And here’s a photo of that sign:

Afraid to Shoot Strangers” was even more beautiful this time around, and brought some tears to me eye. To hear the crowd sing along to every second of it made me realize one thing- Europe is my home away from home, especially when it comes to gigs. While Edmonton has some amazing crowds, they’re nothing compared to this. “The Trooper” and “Number of the Beast” took care of themselves, and a real rousing rendition of “Phantom of the Opera”, which showed just how passionate the band are about their craft. The song is always a complete ripper live, especially with Bruce’s pyro demonstration and food puns, and the musicianship that is as powerful as a thunderbolt to the face. “Run to the Hills” was as amazing as it always is, even with Custer Eddie and sparkling pyro. “Seventh Son” was as hypnotic as ever, with the synth-drenched interludes and theatrics involving gigantic candlesticks and fog, “The Clairvoyant” was as powerful as always, and when you hear the crowd sing to “Fear of the Dark” and the Eddie comes up during “Iron Maiden”, there is nothing but smiles and cheers.

And then, a moment came which showed just how total troopers (pardon the pun) Maiden are. After the snare hit that signaled “Aces High”, the band ran on stage, but Nicko hit his snare too hard, thus breaking the skin. Instead of stopping the song and waiting to get a new snare, Nicko continued to play the snare parts on his lower toms until an engineer brought a new snare in its place. What a player! Any band would halt the performance, but Nicko isn’t one to prevent the crowd from witnessing “Aces High”, a song with tons of power and energy. Bruce still hit the high notes, the solos were as ripping as ever, and lead nicely to “The Evil That Men Do”, where Bruce said: “The evil that men do lives on, but the good is often turned with their bones… and so is the snare drum”. That and “Running Free” helped round out another successful gig on a happy and high note, which even beat the Paris gig, something I didn’t think was possible. Hearing the frenzied soccer crowd cheer Maiden on with the “Ole, ole ole ole, Maiden, Maiden!” chant was just beautiful. It was then where it hit me: Europe is a continent where its citizens are taught to love music like you would your favourite soccer team. If only North Americans could learn a thing or two from Europeans.

Getting out of the Rho wasn’t as much of a problem as I’d imagined. Despite 40, 000 Maiden fans to get ahead of, I was in good spirits all along, and even managed to make a last-minute catch-up with Dee and Tom Svartsyn before making my way to the train station.

He really loves climbing that thing!

Another thing hit me when I got on the train: I was tired. I fell asleep on the train, but I was lucky: I ended up at the centre of town, which wasn’t too far from the hostel (a good 5 minute drive), and a guy woke me up telling me to get off, as lines were now closed. So I took a taxi and arrived safely at the hostel, and to my surprise, when I arrived in the room, I had a roommate. He was another Canadian, an Asian guy who had been in Europe for a month already. He and I had a nice chat and I could get used to him, as he seemed cool and we hit it off real nice.

The next day, I woke up at 12:17 PM, a real change. I needed a good sleep after being sleep deprived and it showed. So I took a shower, and gave myself an hour to use Facebook and my email. I took a walk through Milan and explored, looked at the city, saw the sights, etc. I went to this one particular avenue that had shops, restaurants, bars, etc. I decided to stop at one restaurant for a glass of wine and to chill for a bit, and with it, I got some chips and bruschetta. Now, there’s where it occurred to me: I work in an Italian restaurant that’s part of a big trans-national chain. And here I am eating real, authentic Italian food and drinking Italian wine. After all that hard work and saving, and traveling too with little time to relax, I was living the high life.

I explored some more, looked in shops, and saw some architecture, when it began to rain. Well, not as bad as what came later, but I ran for cover under a huge arch, and when it calmed, bought a €5 umbrella from a salesman which, predictably, broke. Well, I guess I shouldn’t expect much from an €5 umbrella.

I went for dinner at a place on said avenue, had some more wine, and had Norwegian lobster on the grill. This was some of the yummiest stuff I’ve had all year. Anyone who knows me really well knows I’m a huge lobster enthusiast, and paired with the yummy Cabernet Franc, all went down together nicely. This was it, there was no way I could get a better Italian cuisine experience. Authentic Italian food and wine, in the country itself, it was, in a word, “magnifico!”

Italy in touch with its Inner Ninja, Classified would be proud.

I got back on the train back to the station nearest the hostel. When I got off, it began raining, and I mean POURING. Worse yet, this city was confusing as fuck to navigate, and I eventually got tired of walking around wet, so I hailed a taxi.

Now, here’s a lesson in linguistics, folks. Half of Italian is the word, “preggo”. It has a million different meanings, and Italians even have a hard time understanding each other because of it. And while thankfully none of this involved that word, it did involve pronunciation issues. I told him the address clearly: “Via Pietra Calvi, 18”. Well, he clearly didn’t listen and rove me halfway across town because of it. I told him, “I think you may have taken the long way, man.” Then, he tried to convince me I told him a location that didn’t exist. Even more insultingly, he had a GPS. I had him stop the car on the side of the road and very clearly said, “VIA PIETRA CALVI, 18. DIECIOCHO.” I didn’t yell, but I did say it firmly and clearly, and finally got some sense and used the GPS.

Having been drenched and soaked, I got back to the hostel and showered, changed into my PJs, used my iPad for a bit, then hit the hay early. I got up at 4 AM , showered and changed again, headed for the train station and caught the first train out to Malpensa, where a change of airlines and cities, not to mention a new country with a different kind if language was to take place. Two Maiden concerts, both sold out, in one city, and where epic events were due to go down. I’m talking about Frankfurt, baby. The city that I’m positive will take me forever to write about.

In the next installment of my Maiden journey, I discuss drunkenness, hipster smiles, band members in pubs, German fans, free merchandise, Trooper beers, First to the Barrier, event shirts, and a lot more. Auf Wiedersein!!! Or as the Italians say, “Preggo!”

SCOTT’S MAIDEN VOYAGE: An Uprising in Barcelona

So after me nearly missing my flight, it was off to Barcelona at last on a shitty little airplane courtesy of Vueling Airlines. And I devoted most of that 90 minute flight to having a good nap, but a nasty air pressure headache struck me as we were beginning to land. Nonetheless, despite both situations at hand, the plane stayed in the air and as we touched down, it was nice to be in Barcelona at last.

My journey to the hostel involved a super long train ride and a subsequent changeover to a metro station. The metro ride was pretty long too, and I believe I arrived to a space nearest my hostel that was an easy walk, but I didn’t know it at the time. When I got above ground from the metro station, I was in a tiny little backstreet space that had some nice bars, some shops and restaurants, and a building which had a “Caixa” kiosk. This was how I was supposed to get my Muse ticket, as I apparently couldn’t have it delivered to my house when I ordered I from Live Nation Spain in February, the weekend I saw Muse in Edmonton. A little confusion with the machine led to me having to ask a lady nearby how to use it, and voila, I had my ticket at last.

Anyways, my bus stop to the hostel was in front of a cinema, and it was a 5 minute bus ride to Feetup Mellow Eco Hostel, a quaint little place to stay that was run almost entirely on solar power and had was already a hothouse by the time I got there. I checked in, and having had almost no sleep from a flight before, I took it upon myself to shower and nap.

Beautiful, isn’t it?

My ticket

I do believe it was close to 6 when I woke up, and after checking my email and Facebook, I ventured out into the streets to explore and grab a quick bite to eat. I went into one of those “cafeteria” places, with more laid back food and beer. Not many people knew English, but I had some steak and eggs, and for the first time ever, tried a beer popular in Spain called Estrella. Upon the first taste, I was blown away at how sweet and malty it was. It had kind of a scotchy taste to it too, and I’d end up having either that beer of San Miguel when in Barcelona. Though I ended up with San Miguel being more my drug of choice at the Muse concert. So after some dinner, I walked around and explored the streets of Barcelona, and at one point, finally saw a poster for the Muse concert. I hadn’t been aware of who was supporting before, but two bands were- both Spanish bands named L.A. and You Don’t Know Me.

So not much happened that first day. I went back and facebooked some more at 10 PM and during almost the entire thing, was “treated” to four guys who are very clearly shit at planning discussing travel plans, as they were going on and on about their worst case scenario travel plans and some of these sounded like what NOT do when traveling abroad in Europe. They got so loud at one point, that the guy manning the desk yelled at them to shut up, true story. I nearly pissed myself laughing.

This…

…and this, together, can take the edge off a day of travel.

This saved me some bus fare. Well, it also added train fare.

Yeah I heard about this Muse band, they seem like a bunch of cool lads…

The next day, I woke up at 9 AM, showered, threw on my Muse shirt and some shorts, immediately made for the stadium, but it wasnt before I asked the clerk at the desk where to go for the Olympic Stadium. I stopped for a beer and some brunch, and then got on the train and got off where the woman told me, but things only got more confusing from there. Having no idea where to go, I ran into a tobacco store, where a woman who spoke semi-decent English told me to get on the wrong bus. After THAT, I ran into the coffee shop that was around the corner from the Spanish Hauptbanhof, only to get semi-clearer directions, and this guy spoke no English at all. So, I ordered some coffee and asked “donde est al estadio olimpico?” And in Spanish, he gave me the right directions to go, but didn’t give me a proper transit number (argh). I was amazed I even could understand any of what he was saying, as I only speak some Latin American Spanish and not a word of Catalan. The difference between both dialects is that Catalan resembles Italian a bit more and sounds a bit upper class, where as Latin American sounds a bit more laid back and easy. Oh, and I must add, the coffee was FUCKING amazing.

Normal breakfast is boring.

Gratuitous scenery porn

So from there I took a taxi to the stadium, and it was a 10 minute ride. The driver noticed how excited I was and asked, “concierto?” To which I responded , “Si! Muse!” The driver clearly didn’t have an idea who Muse were, but then again, he looked to be older, in his mid fifties at least. And when I got to the stadium, I was blown away to see plenty of people already line up. I do be,I’ve it was about 1 PM when I got there, and so I immediately took 20 minutes to buy a shirt, use the washroom, have a beer and then explore the stadium site. The shirts were mainly leftovers from the arena tour, which as a tad disappointing, but one shirt I couldn’t resist was the Follow Me shirt. Which was absolutely AMAZING. And it’s also worth noting that while waiting in line, I noticed someone who wore a shirt from the War Child charity show that Muse did at the Shepherd’s Bush Empire back in February, and had a nice chat with her. Little did I know I’d get mentioned in a post on the Muse forum some time later:

She is right about the queue, I must add. Despite being up in the heavens with regards to sears, and I’ll try to keep queue chat to a minimum: that stadium is clearly not designed for concerts, but anyways, I was in line for 6 hours and waiting directly under the sun was completely energy draining, and I even heard some vomit. Could they not have had multiple entrances open? There were plenty of entrances at the Olympic stadium and they had only one fucking door open. What a fucking joke.

Anyways, highlights of waiting in line included several tour busses full of people driving by and waving at us, noticing a guy who had a fan designed Muse shirt with all their artwork on it and him handing me the business card of the designer who did it, being offered beer by a few Spaniards, having a few people below me when we got to the steps sing along to their Muse songs they were playing, and getting pissed off at security for the rather concentration camp-type way they let people in. Plenty were pissed off at security and I heard plenty of discussions that included heavy usage of the word “mierda”. Oh, and I noticed plenty of “security” goofing off when they could be letting people in. Just when Paris FTTB looks heavenly by comparison.

the fountains

A cell phone antenna tower. I wonder if Matt has any crazy conspiracy theories about it…

Did I mention yet how poorly managed this line was?

Let’s do this!

Anyways, all the bad stopped there. We were let in at last and off to the stands it was for our concert. The first band on was “You Don’t Know Me,” and I nearly fell asleep. They were fucking BORING. They were especially a Spanish Coldplay clone. L.A. Were next, and they were alright. They were pretty cool in some parts and they were Spanish but sung in English, which was impressive as their English was excellent. They played a tad longer than necessary, but they were a good band.

So now, as for the Muse show, SO many highlights.

Firstly, the setlist:

INTRO: The 2nd Law: Unsustainable (First verse dialogue only)
Supremacy (Extended intro)
Supermassive Black Hole
Panic Station
Bliss
Interlude
Hysteria (AC/DC’s Back in Black outro)
Animals
Knights of Cydonia (Ennio Morricone’s Man with a Harmonica intro)
Dracula Mountain (Lightning Bolt cover) (Drum and bass jam)
United States of Eurasia
Map of the Problematique (Who Knows Who outro)
Monty Jam (Drum and bass jam)
Feeling Good (Leslie Bricusse & Anthony Newley cover)
Follow Me
Liquid State
Madness
Time Is Running Out (House of the Rising Sun intro)
Stockholm Syndrome (Rage Against the Machine’s Freedom outro)

ENCORE 1:
Unintended
Blackout (with a ballerina, carried by … more)
Guiding Light
Undisclosed Desires

ENCORE 2:
The 2nd Law: Unsustainable
Plug In Baby
Survival

ENCORE 3:
The 2nd Law: Isolated System (alternate newscast)
Uprising (Extended outro)
Starlight

So many highlights. So the intro began with the first verse of “Unsustainable”. The minute the robot finished “UN-SUSTAINABLE”, a bomb went off in the middle of the B-stage, which led to “Supremacy” 8 full bars of more pinch harmonics. The song was bold ended by pyro chimneys which went off at the appropriate times, and hearing the Catalan people clearly having a good time was chilling. Then to “Supermassive Black Hole”, which took care of itself, and “Panic Station”, which featured video footage of politicians dancing on he screen in the back. The song we got next, as it varies from city to city, was “Bliss”, which had an extended outro, and led right into “Hysteria”, with the Back in Black outro. Usually they jump right into the bridge riff, but Matt played the intro riff for a few bars before playing the bridge riff. And to hear thousands of Spaniards sing along to the instrumentals and even the guitar solos was AWESOME!

Their first real “effects” tune was “Animals”, which sounded amazing as it usually does, and near the middle of the song, a businessman ran on stage, throwing money into the crowd, before the light towers exploded with Musos- money confetti with Muse on it. Then came “Knights of Cydonia”, which had the usual “Man With the Harmonica” intro, but this time, Matt didn’t play with the speaker. The song took care of itself, and also had different video projections with a video game style spaghetti western chase scene. After “Dracula Mountain” jam, the piano came up in the middle of the stage, for another song that varies by city- this time we got “United States of Eurasia”. Matt played on his white piano instead of the silver Kawai, and near the end, instead of “United staaaaaaaates…”, he sang “Barcelonaaaaaaaa!” In a high pitch falsetto. After “Map”, the much maligned “Feeling Good” came, with another theatre feature. A businesswoman sat at a desk and walked down the stage with a cell phone before drinking petrol gas and dying. Too funny! And most of you hopefully know of the “fucking fucking fucking!” Incident that got Muse banned from Spanish TV. I sang “FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING YOU FUCKING FUCKING, YOU FUCKING FUCKING LOTTLE FUCKER, YEAH!” at the megaphone bit, which made a bunch of people laugh around me. I’m guessing they got the reference

“Follow Me” was a stunner, despite not having any lasers, mostly because the crowd clapped throughout the whole song, beginning with the baby heartbeat. Dom even dedicated it to “those with babies”.

As for the encores: encore one began with a stripped down “Unintended”, which was just gorgeous. “Blackout” returned to the set, which was the highlight of the night for me- the usual acrobat returned, this time hanging from an inflatable lightbulb. “Guiding Light” and “Undisclosed Desires” followed after, with the actors visible from earlier, this time in caskets under the B-Stage. And Matt missed the first line of “Undisclosed” because a rabid Spanish fan attack hugged him- too funny! Encore two began with “Unsustainable”, where similar to Iron Maiden’s tradition of a walk-on Eddie, Charles the Robot walked out onstage to “sing” the song, and a killer pyro presentation was shown too! “Plug In Baby” was almost like a sensory earthquake to hear so many Spaniards singing to literally every note and word. “Survival” finished off the second encore, with a killer pyro display to finish things off. Encore three began with “Isolated System” and the usual video, with Dom coming onstage to finish the song off. Then next came “Uprising” and “Starlight”, which left the crowd in good spirits and “feeling good” walking home, if you pardon the pun.

So afterward, I walked out of the stadium, happier than a pig in shit seeing my first ever Muse concert at a stadium. I went back and Facebooked for a while, all the while listening to some drunk and high girls at 2 in the AM trying to persuade a bar owner to take them out to a club. Meanwhile, I tried to opt for a shuttle to the airport for 3 AM, which I couldn’t, so it had to be 3:30 AM. The shuttle cost €8, which is pretty good considering. And all this was done using Google Translate with the guy who ran the hostel, who didn’t speak English, very little Spanish but plenty of Italian.

That’s right. I’m ending this blog post on a cliffhanger, to hint at my next location I was off to: Milan. For my fifth ever Maiden gig, and a festival that is enough to whet any Metalhead’s appetite!

Calgary Expo- FULL REPORT!

I remember stating in a previous post that I’d post a report of each day from the expo, but really, there’s too many highlights for even TWO blog posts. This and my upcoming Europe trip were my two most anticipated events of the year, but the Calgary Expo is special because it’s a place where everyone comes together as one. I mean, it’s not every day we can go out in public as our favourite characters and cause some chaos, and CCEE is ultimately the greatest time to do so. The two days I were there were nothing short of fun, and let’s just say I am already making plans to go back for next year (as well as Edmonton Expo). But, obviously the short paragraph I just typed doesn’t do justice. So, time for a LOOOOOOONG time period condensed to as few paragraphs as possible.

Friday is a day that people typically never rush to get there, but this year, some were- the Parade of Wonders began at 11 and I didn’t join, sadly. But I will next year. That being said, it did give me a chance to sleep in a bit, and get my costume all fancied up. On Friday, I went as the Eleventh Doctor, and knowing the sheer amount of fangirls that the Eleventh Doctor has, I knew I’d be asked for a few pics, but one thing I DIDN’T expect was a girl asking me for a picture on a train! This even made it into one of my tweets:

A brief stop at Market Mall for Mike to get his World of Warcraft game later, we were on our way to the train station when I became distracted by the British store. Went inside to buy some Jelly Babies, because it would be great to walk around asking folks, “would you like a jelly baby?”. Yes, I know the fourth doctor is the one who claimed that catchphrase, but how many times have we seen Eleven copy from other doctors? Therefore, the correct response would be “Eleven, your four is showing!”. I did go around asking people said question at the expo, and one even lit up because she apparently never had them. Which, you can’t blame her, because they aren’t that well known around Canada. So I know that I’m definitely going to buy TWO bags of Jelly Babies for the Edmonton Expo!

Some time later we made it to the BMO Centre (but it wasn’t without my cousin and I getting off the train at the wrong stop and having to catch the next train! Hahaha). It wasn’t TOO terribly busy when we got there. I mean, it was busy enough, but it didn’t get super busy until close to 6, which is when we left. In the meantime, first thing we did was head to the Big Four building to get out passes and wristbands. This didn’t take long, and we waited a total of 5 minutes in line, however, one thing that did sort of strike me as odd was that since we were exchanging both our tickets, we need to wear BOTH wristbands. Which is odd, as when I met up with Dan later the next day, the staff evidently weren’t as forceful about both wristbands being worn, as Dan was only wearing one of them. But that being said, I had one on each wrist, and what also struck me as funny was that the guy told us that “if it looks like it was taken off at one point, you won’t be let in”. Um, to that specific guy: ever been to an all-inclusive resort? You know those bracelets they snap on and how you practically cannot take them off without cutting them off? Yeah, you get the deal.

That aside, we immediately made for the BMO centre, and entered Halls A-C. Mike and I then parted ways, and went to explore on our own. Immediately off the bat, I was asked for a few pictures by some of the more zealous Doctor Who fans and cosplayers. This was expected, of course- DW is a huge phenomenon worldwide. The A-C halls are huge and the place is like a carnival in terms of atmosphere. There’s vendors from comic stores, artists on display, people like me walking around in costume, and even some music setups and what not. I spent a good 40 minutes in that space alone, and then made my way for D-E halls, where the autographs were. But, it didn’t stop at just the Autographs. Immediately off the bat, I was greeted with the sight of a DeLorean, made famous by the popular “Back to the Future” franchise. So, a Ten cosplayer, a River cosplayer, and I spent the money and landed ourselves a couple spots in front of the DeLorean for a lovely picture:

Also at the autograph hall was a WETA display. For those of you who regard movie-speak as if I’m speaking some foreign language that you wouldn’t understand if I spoke to you, WETA is the rivaling company against ILM (Industrial Light and Magic), the two biggest special effects companies. In fact, they’re most well known for their work on the film adaptations of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth saga. They even had a modular Gollum on display.

The only autograph I got that weekend was from John Carpenter, the master of Horror. I chatted with him for a good five minutes, and he’s a really nice old guy too. This guy is a true gentleman! However, also in the autographspace I met was Ajay Fry, the host of INNERSPACE. INNERSPACE is a show where three people gather daily to discuss all things sci-fi, and it’s always a fun time, mainly due to Fry’s enthusiasm. Well that enthusiasm showed when I met him, and he dug my costume. I asked to get a picture with him, and he agreed, under one condition: he held the Sonic Screwdriver. Which I let him! And boy does he look happy in the picture, but I did have to show him how to use it!

Some time later, I headed to the Big Four building for my first photo op- Wil Wheaton. I was stoked, beside myself, starstruck, and any other euphemism possible. I chatted with a lot of the folks in line, and they did indeed have to extend the op- there were LOTS of people. So essentially it was “walk in, say hi, get a pic” and so forth. He was a nice but rather quiet guy- hey, it’s Wl Wheaton though! He could have said nothing to ke and I’d still live totell the tale of meeting Wil Wheaton!

Next up was Sylvester McCoy. I didn’t purchase an op before hand but immediately after, I went and plunked the money down for Mr. McCoy. Hey, he was a doctor on the classic show, how could I not want to meet him? And back to the same line it was, for the photo op. Right behind me was a Fourth Doctor cosplayer, and for obvious reasons, there were plenty of those there! We chatted with an old school Doctor Who fan for a while as we were waiting to be let in for our photo op. We had lots of fun discussing the series and why we loved it so much, as well as our favourite moments from the show so far. When I finally got to step across the black tape, I greeted Sir McCoy with “DOCTA!!!” to which he responded “ELLO THERE, DOCTA!” we chatted for a few seconds before it was picture time, and our cue word was “Radagast”, but knowing him, his way of saying it was “RrrrrrrrrrrADAGAST!!!” and so we got an awesome picture together, and soon one of my goals in life were completed: meeting a doctor from the classic series!

Then came a moment that I didn’t expect- large Time Lord group photo. After the Sylvester McCoy photo op, I noticed that the doctors were gathering in one corner of the B4 basement for a photo. So I joined…

and more joined…

and more joined…

And it got to the point where our thumbs were all sore from Sonicing the cameras. Making things worse was the fact that we had at least 20 cameras taking pics of us; and a lady our faces in every direction for each camera! It was a great photo but man we were glad it was over!

Not long after that, Mike and I left the stampede grounds and searched for a nearby pub; we settled for Bear & Kilt on Stephen Avenue. It’s a Scottish pub in the basement of a building block; it legit has a nice Scottish vibe and is a nice little place to unwind, especially after a long day of geeky fun. I had a steak sandwich with fries; Mike had deep fried pickles. Later, Mike got a text from one of his buddies attending the expo that they were joining us soon; four people joined us 45 minutes later and from there on we lounged a bit, had some pints and just shot the shit, really. I hadn’t met them before but they seem like very nice people and we got along nicely. At about 10 we headed back for Cochrane, and I stayed up for a few minutes, had some pizza and a beer, instagrammed, facebooked, then headed to bed, as the next day would be an early day.

Saturday was really something else (in a good way, of course). I cosplayed as Tenth Doctor, minus the coat and glasses, but plus the frazzled converse and dingy tie he usually wears. We got there at 9:30 that day and broke off on our own, as Matt was with us this time and needed his wristband and badge. So I headed for the line, which, was HUGE. Here’s how it looked like at 9:30 in the AM:

At 10 we were let into the entrance nearest BMO halls D and E. That’s where the autographs were held, so the celebrity stalking immediately began:

12 PM, I headed to the Torchwood panel. I’m not a fan of Torchwood, I mean I like Captain Jack on Doctor Who a LOT but they made me not like him on the spinoff, which is as far away from Doctor Who as can be and is more like British X-Files meets CSI. With gore and tits. Yet, I was there to hear John Barrowman speak. He is one of my favourite actors and I wasn’t going to miss a second of his panel. And needless to say, I LOVED the whole panel! Barrowman, Myles, and Lloyd are all three very lovable personalities and are all very fun to listen to hear them share stories. John talked about working with actors to evoke emotions from them, the reaction to Jack killing his own son, and many more. Myles was the non-Barrowman show thief by sharing with us how big a crush she had on Barrowman. She apparently was convinced that Barrowman was in love with her! Yet it wasn’t such, as he’s gay in real life and has been married to his husband, Scott Gill, since 2006 (they met in 1993). Barrowman was his usual hyperactive self; he jumped around the stage, even mooned the crowd (underwear of course, there are kids at these things!). Barrowman was asked all sorts of odd questions, such as whether or not Jack has been to the transexual Transylvania planet of Dr. Frank-N-Furter. The first thing that he said was, “is this a fanfic question???”. In addition, Myles did her little “Plastic Hip Pamela” thing she would do to keep the crowd entertained by singing a song from Grease. The whole arena just nearly died of laughter.

After that, I went back to the halls for more Cosplay awesomeness:

As the clock struck 1:15, I headed to the Boyce theatre for Starship Troopers, and that’s when Dan and I met up! One of the first things he says to me when he sees me is “Christ, you’re tall”. He himself is pretty tall, in fact, if you note the picture below, tenth and eleventh doctor back to back, he’s slightly taller, though maybe that’s the Matt smith hair of his! He was with his girlfriend Amrita who was dressed as Oswin, his sister Jasmine (dressed as a blond Kissogram Amy Pond), and his mother. I hadn’t seen the film in a long time, but Dan used to watch it every day! One of the funny things he says is “please don’t be old! Please don’t be old!”. Of course, he’s referring to Casper Van Dien, who admittedly looks older now. Well, Casper is still a good looking dude, but yes he does indeed look remarkably older.

Which brings me to the panel! Dina came out and greeted the audience, but Casper had been hiding somewhere. Turns out he was chatting it up with the crowd; Dina yelled at him to get back on stage, and the first thing they said to the crowd was, “so, now we’ll take questions about the shower scene.” I always imagined Casper Van Dien as being a funny man, as he’s proven so time and time again in the past, but I never pictured Dina Meyer being a total comedian! For one, she still looks incredible and hasn’t aged a day, and she was energetic throughout. She had some of the funniest jokes, and one of the highlights/running gags was when Meyer and Dien constantly harassed a man in a bumblebee suit. At one point, Meyer began singing “No Rain” in his direction!

They were also very informative, and shared some insights, as the rough and rigourous training they went through; how Dizzy Flores was a male in the book whereas in the film a female; what it was like working with director Paul Verhoeven, recycled footage, and at one point, even simulated a stage fight! After the panel, Dan and I got an awesome picture together. The tenth and the eleventh meet face to face, who knew! And from there on, we parted ways, as I had my most anticipated photo op to get to: John Barrowman!

So after stopping at the Corral for some food and drink, I headed back to the Big Four building to meet Sara and Derek. We chatted it up for a bit, that came to a stop when Mr. Barrowman and his sir Scott Gill walked down! They posed for a few pictures for the fans, and I shouted at Scott, “MY NAME IS SCOTT TOO!” he responded, with a surprised facial expression too, “Really?”. A few minutes later, photo ops were off the ground, but Jihn broke one of the cameras. I shit you not, he broke it! So he poked hisnhead through the curtain where we were standing, to inform us allnof the situation. Man, it was surreal having him up that close! Sara tried really hard not to touch his hair. As soon as it was our turn, Sara was beside herself. She got to touch him, and it was what she was most looking forward to whole time! So we got a cool action shot, and I greeted him with one last handshake before we parted ways.

Lastly, some bad news struck- Saw panel was canceled. But, Mike and I met up for the Hart foundation panel. Bret and Mike Hart, Canada’s most well known wrestlers from the 1980s, was a full capacity, and was lots of fun. They have a great sense of humour, and are very intelligent guys; it was fun to hear them share their stories each. The question i asked them was with regards to the action figures and how they felt about them. Bret told me that there’s simply nothing cooler than being immortalized in a ten inch mobile action figure, knowing that you’ll have left a legacy behind for further generations and how you have inspired many does indeed have a testament. As expected, they’re also very old fashioned- they had been touring since the eighties and they did make no effort to hide their dissapoijntment kn the “raunchier and naughtier” style WWF veered off to in the 2000s. But, really, wrestling has indeed changed a lot in the past years and now it’s often associated with UFC and MMA. So where people nowadays pass that off as wrestling, it’s refreshing to have some old fashioned wisdom from the folks who helped popularize it in Canada some years ago.

Overall, I had a KILLER weekend. I’m certain going back; as have done cons in the past before, but none really stuck out as much as CCEE. Here, nerd culture of all walks of life was alive and well. I’ve been a nerd since childhood and love all art forms of nerd culture- film, shows, games, comics, etc. I’m a sci-fi enthusiast and a comic book reader since childhood, and walking around with people in costume and wearing superhero shirts in one large hall, where nerd culture was the aim of the event, made me feel proud to be a nerd. While it obviously isn’t as huge as San Diego Comic Con or Anaheim Wondercon, if we, fellow nerds of Alberta keep supporting the business; we’ll reach that level, trust me. And now, Edmonton Expo has bloomed, and seems to be on its way to Calgary’s level- slowly, but surely.

Well, fellow readers, that covers my time at the insanity that is Calgary Comic Expo. Until Edmonton Expo, see ya folks later!

Muse (2/3/13, Edmonton, Rexall Place) review

First off, here’s the setlist:

The 2nd Law: Unsustainable
Supremacy
Supermassive Black Hole
Panic Station
Resistance
Map of the Problematique
Animals
Man With A Harmonica/Knights of Cydonia
Monty Jam
Feeling Good
Follow Me
Liquid State
Madness
Undisclosed Desires
Time Is Running Out
Stockholm Syndrome (Rage Against the Machine’s Freedom outro)

Encore:
The 2nd Law: Isolated System
Uprising

Encore 2:
Starlight
Survival

Wow… Honestly, so many highlights. Maybe I’m a bit naive because this is my first Muse concert, but it certainly wont be my last. So, without much further ado, here’s my review of the concert.

First off, Muse got off to a bit of a later start than usual. They were slated for 8:15, but some technical difficulties delayed the start until 8:35. However, when then lights went down, all was forgiven. The first song was “The 2nd Law: Unsustainable” and the roof came off the bloody arena. The intro had red lights flashing in time to the orchestral blasts, and the newscaster monologue over the speakers, while the band came onstage. As soon as the robot voice said “UN-SUSTAIN-ABLE”, the band blasted into the dubstep themed tune, and it wasjust incredible to hear the band play the dubstep part live on their instruments (Matt played a single note while someone off stage controlled a pedal). The song took care of itself and sounded incredible live, and the stage with all the video screens simulated the look of the robot in the music video, which was a cool effect. Immediately after was “Supremacy”, which also sounded great live, but Matt sounded a little rough at the beginning, and was sort of struggling to hit the notes in the first verse. But as soon as he slid into the falsetto-ed “Your SU-PREMACYYYYYY!!!!”, he finally found his footing and from there on sounded solid most of the night.

Soon after, a huge upside down pyramid descended from the ceiling, and they launched into “Supermassive Black Hole”, which sounded amazing as it always does. Following was panic Station. On the pyramid, there were videos of a dancing hippopotamus and an alien playing a trumpet and saxophone. Hilarious! The song sounded bloody great, and Matt was hitting the notes without any strain or struggle, and you could hear EVERYONE sing the chorus. Then, right after, a man put up a mic stand on the arrow-shaped B-stage, and it hit me: Matt was going to come down and sing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. And so he did, as the next song was Resistance. Matt’s vocals were amazing as always, and Chris’ backing vocals were nothing shot of awesome during the “Could be wrong, could be wrong” part. After that, “Map of the Problematique” came, which got the arena all nice and energized. I heard not one person not singing along… I got chills the whole time.

“Animals” was a song I wasn’t sure I’d hear since they’d been dropping it a lot, and it wasn’t played since the first L.A. show, but they played it, and the moment the first notes rang out, I was screaming like a little girl. The crowd was shit, but this is the one song where the quietness of the crowd helped add to the atmosphere- the song is very subdued and creepy, atmospheric. The pyramid showed black and white footage of business exchanges and a salesman going insane, whole the screen that ran along the lower part of the stage mimicked a stock exchange LED screen, which was too cool. Then, things got a little western in the arena- Chris took out a harmonica and played Ennio Morricone’s “Man with a Harmonica”. And some lucky man on Chris’ side of the barrier got his harmonica! Which led into “Knights of Cydonia”. When the song got all heavy, THE WHOLE FLOOR BECAME A MOSHPIT. THE. WHOLE. FLOOR. Never had I’d seen that before, or been part! I jumped up and down along with the crowd and sang my heart out!

After the “Monty Jam”, Matt went over to his piano and plunked the band into their cover of “Feeling Good”, which took care of itself. He even had the megaphone, which was a nice touch. A few people beside me were not happy that they didn’t get Sunburn instead, but I was glad to get anything for my first Muse concert. Then, when “Follow Me” started, the stage went completely dark, a laser shone down on the stage, which Matt put his hand under, causing the laser to reach all the way to the back of the arena! The band also played the dubstep part of this song live too, which was nice. Then, Chris’ time to shine was up. Chris went to the Arrow stage in front of me and got the audience clapping away as he started “Liquid State.” He’s a great live singer and I sure hope this means he gets more vocal spots in the future. “Madness” was up next, and Matt wore glasses with screens in the lenses that played the robotic “M” video. The band pitched the song down a semitone, but it worked, and to see Chris playing the Kitara bass and Dom playing the electric kit live showed that Muse care about keeping true to the nature of the song.

Then, the highlight of the night came, and only because of a special moment- Undisclosed Desires. While it’s admittedly a so so song, the best part of the whole night was in that song. During the second verse, Matt jumped onto the floor, and went along shaking people’s hands… Then, MATT SMILED AT ME AND SHOOK MY HAND!!!! I had my hand good and ready, and I sort of stuck it a bit further, and he and I made eye contact up close and he gave me a firm handshake!!!! Aaaaaaah. I’m dying as I type this of over-happiness. I screamed like a little girl! After that was “Time is Running Out”, and already in a Euphoria, I jumped up and down and shouted the song’s lyrics with tears in my eyes from the happiness. The next part was interesting- a “Video roulette” of sorts happened, with two song choices: “New Born” and “Stockholm Syndrome”. We got Stockholm, and boy was it ever heavy as fuck!!! The energy at the barrier was nothing short of intense. As the song ended, the band jammed out to the sounds of “Freedom” by Rage Against the Machine, and the pyramid descended and covered them, resembling a pyramid of TVs.

For the first encore, a video showed of people running for their lives from an unseen force as the Trance-themed “Isolated System” got people clapping and dancing on the spot. At this part if felt like an arena-sized rave. The pyramid then turned into a huge grid, and “Uprising” rang out, as a video showed of Dom Howard fighting a bunch of ninjas! That’s right. Just as you were thinking Dom couldn’t be any cooler, he’s a ninja now! The pyramid ascended to reveal him wearing a jumpsuit similar to the one Uma Thurman wore in Kill Bill, only red. The band jammed out the ending of the song and made it longer, which was really fun. For the second encore, everyone called them onstage by turning on their cell phone lights, which made the arena look like a galaxy! The band then came back out onstage and told us they loved us before launching into “Starlight”. The song was, as usual, pitched down a semitone and hearing everyone clap along to the tune was just magical. Oh, and I spotted myself on the video screen! The last song of the night was “Survival”, which was their Olympics song, which brought out the piano. The song was, as usual, heavy and crushing, with its choir and Rammstein-style riffage, and as the song neared its end, carbon dioxide cannons went off, only for the show to culminate in a carbon dioxide show! As the band came down to the b stage and thanked everyone, they were nothing but smiles and you could tell they were happy, which is odd as other than the few crowd highlights, the crowd was quite crap. And as a nice surprise, as the lights were starting to come up, one more blast of carbon dioxide went off!

Man, I can tells ya, that will forever be right behind Maiden and Roger Waters in my top 3 gigs of all time. It was my first time seeing Muse and it won’t be my last. I’ve got a ticket for the Barcelona show, and I’m excited for that too. I guess what really makes this band special is that they can be considered the British Rush. 3 members, with one monstrous sound. I guess why so many adults like them is because they remind them of the good old days- Queen, Emerson Lake and Palmer, Pink Floyd even. While we’ve got our good old classic stuff like Iron Maiden and Roger Waters around, sadly modern bands don’t hold a candle- Muse and Rammstein are the only two examples I can name! And Muse care about keeping the rock n roll real, and last night’s show was a clear indication. Sure they’ve become a bit more commercial over the years, but the music is what matters, so if anything, they deserve the success they’ve gotten. So I’m saying it here and now: $72 to see them on the floor, at the barrier is a fucking STEAL to see this band, and while they’re still at it. Thanks, Muse, for helping keep Rock N Roll alive, and for redefining a live show!

Last, here’s some photos from the concert, enjoy!

A very detailed review of Muse’s “The 2nd Law”

Muse’s sixth album is, like all their albums, a very unique and different album. It’s very difficult to like on just one listen, however- but then again, all Muse albums take their time to grow on you. I remember The Resistance- personally, I’m not a big fan of that album, but there are a few songs that I like here and there. I do give it a listen every now and then, and I find things I like in it.

With The 2nd Law, I knew I wouldn’t fall in love with it right away. I remember, the first time I heard it I thought “meh, it’s alright”… And didn’t give it much attention. In the coming days, I’d listen to it again and again… Every listen brought to my attention things that I initially didn’t notice. And I even found myself liking songs I didn’t think I’d come to like. It wasn’t until I gave it a good listen- on a stereo system, with the volume turned up to 11, that I’d find myself coming to a final conclusion on it. So, let’s go over the album, track by track, shall we?

1. SUPREMACY
The first thing you notice is that this album begins in such a fashion that all the other albums didn’t- with a straightforward rock intro. After a few drum fills and pinch harmonics comes this dark and eerie riff that is almost reminiscent of their earlier hit, “Dead Star”. Then when Chris and Com kick in, a set of strings play an epic, almost apocalyptic riff. Apparently the song was meant to be a Bond theme, but (understandably) got snubbed by Adele’s powerful, beautiful and tragic “Skyfall”. This song would have been awesome too, because while Skyfall is from Adele’s point of view, this song can be looked at as being from Bond’s point of view, about how he’ll get Raoul Silva in the end, even if it means M dying. The verses are full of stings, a choir, some epic drums, and Matt’s melancholy voice, before the instrumental chorus is brought in by Matt’s signature ear-splitting falsetto. The guitar solo is even great too, and towards the end, the signature style of Muse’s “climaxing over and over” is brought to our ears, before the song ends with a typical 007-ish guitar roll. The one thing that makes it lose points, however, is the line, “brainwashing our children to be mean”. Really, Matt? In an otherwise badass song, that piece of hilarity is what you come up with?

2. MADNESS
The song’s initial hook is started by Matt’s, “M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mad-mad-mad” (which at the end amounts to him finally saying “Madness”), which sets up for an interesting electro beat and Kitara bass combo. The lyrics were apparently written after Matt got in a fight with Kate Hudson (his fiancee), and is about how sometimes you fight with your girlfriend and after a while you realize, “oh shit, she was right… Who was I to argue with her?” . The lyrics are touching and are about how sometimes, you can fight with the person you love but even that won’t stop you from loving them and absolutely needing them. The song’s second half brings in actual instruments and has a very U2 quality to it, almost reminiscent of “Mysterious Ways”. It’s easy to see why it’s such a hit- it’s catchy while very moving and is perhaps one of their best ballads to date.

3. PANIC STATION
This song has people mixed, but I like it. It’s very funky, very danceable, and powerful… you can tell that the band had a lot of fun playing and writing it. The lyrics are powerful, inspiring and motivational as well, and seem to be about ignoring all the people who tell you you “can’t do it”, and going out and doing what you want in life, with nobody there to bring you down. This song is easily reminiscent of Supermassive Black Hole, but with a bit more of a seventies twist to it, complete with trumpets and trombones and all.

4. PRELUDE
Not much to say here. Piano, strings, and choir, a nice interlude to Survival. This isn’t the first time they did this either; “Absolution” had “Interlude”, which was a guitar and pedal heavy introduction to “Hysteria”. Needless to say, it does set the epic tone, and bleeds into the next song perfectly.

5. SURVIVAL
My biggest complaint about the song is right off the bat, the choir and piano intro. It is slightly cringe-worthy and the choir seems synthesized (though the DVD reveals they actually did the singing themselves in the intro, perhaps just overproduced). However, once Dom, Chris and Matt kick in, the doubts are cast aside, and the song becomes an epic tune about running a race, and what goes on inside your head. The lyrics are a bit of an issue too- the first line is, “race, life’s a race, and I’m gonna win”. Right off the bat, you’ve used “race” and “win” in the same sentence. Surely they could have come up with something more… Creative, per se? Nonetheless, the corny lyrics are overpowered by the head-explodingly epic song that is like a mix of Rammstein’s “Mein Herz Brennt”, and Queen’s “Somebody to Love”. It’s easy to see why this is the Olympics theme; it’s powerful, explosive, heavy, epic, and fun. The song reaches its ear-shattering climax with eight measures of heavy riffage and the chorus’s shouting, “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!!!”. The song should be corny, but its over-the-topness makes for a bloody fun tune that makes you want to turn it up and headbang.

6. FOLLOW ME
The heartbeat you hear in the song’s intro is a real heartbeat- it was a recording of Matthew Bellamy’s recently born son. Which brings me to the topic of the song’s lyrics- he wrote the song for his son, as a sort of “I will always be there” tune for him. The music itself is… well, WONDERFUL. It’s also the first track where the dubstep influence can be heard clearly- the chorus mixes the typical synth rock and classical that is a trademark of Muse’s. Matt’s vocals in particular are beautiful and make the track even more grand. About the dubstep itself, it’s thankfully kept to a minimum in the song, but nonetheless it sounds really cool.

7. ANIMALS
The first impression you get of this song is that I sounds like something that wouldn’t be out of place on Origin of Symmetry. The music is like a more upbeat version of Screenager, and the lyrics are even similar. To compare and contrast; Screenager is about how girls always aim for the perfect body/image and cut themselves because they can’t look beautiful, and ignore people who tell them they are beautiful, saying because they’ve alienated everyone around them, they may as well just give up, because nobody can hear them anymore and have stopped trying (“Stop your screaming, no one can hear you now…”). Animals is an attack at big business executives who think that because they are rich, own corporations around the world and own stocks to a large amount of companies, they can be pricks to other people and not care if others get hurt. At the end of the song, Matt sings “kill yourself, come on kill yourself, do the world a favour…”. The song is splendidly creepy and disturbing, just like said execs. Matt sings in the same subdued style as in Screenager, and you can really sense that he’s channeling people who have been fucked over by the big bosses. At the end of the tune, we hear rather frightening samples from the wall street trading floor, which drives the point home perfectly. Definitely Muse’s best post-Black Holes song to date, and in my top 5 Muse songs for sure.

8. EXPLORERS
This song is decidedly slower than the rest of the album, but its string driven tune and somber tone make it one of the most powerful yet. Matt’s voice islet again, stellar, and very emotional. The lyrics seem to be about an alien who has crashed his ship on some site on earth, begging explorers who find them “free me, free me from this world”. This may sound corny, but the rest of the lyrics are absolutely beautiful, and among Matt’s best yet. The song does sound like a Christmas song at points; jingling can be heard for some reason, and they really feel out of place, which is my only complaint about the song, really. Nonetheless it’s an otherwise spectacular song.

9. BIG FREEZE
Now here’s a catchy song! It’s among Muse’s catchiest yet, and sure is bound to be a concert favourite. After a soft guitar-and synth intro and some smooth vocals from Matt, the song explodes into a catchy uptempo song with over-the-top singing and great guitar work. The backing vocals are pretty great even! The song’s topic is about holding together during a storm and making the most of such a situation. The lyrics are good, but a tad repetitive- Matt bellows too many phrases like “Don’t give up” and what not, which does drag it down a bit. If the lyrics were a tad less repetitive, they’d for sure get a higher rating from me.

CHRIS’ ALCOHOLISM SUITE
(9. SAVE ME & 10. LIQUID STATE)
I decided to merge the two songs together, because they’re both a suite. Both are about Chris’ battle with Alcoholism, that has lasted since Absolution, and both are very different from each other in that aspect; Save Me is more of a cry for help to those around him, and Liquid State is more as if Chris is yelling at the demons inside him, telling them “come on, why don’t you just kill me already if you want to”. They’re also different from each other in the sense that Save Me is a slow ballad, and Liquid State is a garage rocker, suitably. Chris sings on both of them too, which adds the personal touch. Out of the two, I prefer Save Me, which is much more emotional and touching. It is very sad and hearing Chris sing it adds a whole different level of emotion to it, and his voice sounds so gorgeous on it… he may not be the best singer, but it’s a unique song in its own right, and his singing fits. That said, I do love Liquid State. It’s very catchy, at times reminiscent of New Born. It’s rude to get a few head banging, that’s for sure.

THE 2ND LAW

UNSUSTAINABLE
A string section kicks in, followed by choirs, synthesizers, and finally a news reporter who recites this monologue that explains the second law of thermodynamics:

“All natural and technological processes proceed in such a way that the availability of the remaining energy decreases. In all energy exchanges, if no energy enters or leaves an isolated system, the entropy of that system incre,cre,cre,cre,c,c,creases. Energy continuously flows from being concentrated, to becoming dispersed, spread out, wasted and useless. New energy cannot be created and high grade energy is being destroyed. An economy based on endless growth is…”

then, the music stops dead, and a robot greets you with a terrifying completion of the above stanza: “UN-SUST-AINABLE”. What follows is a unique fusion of dubstep, heavy metal, and classical, with at one point Matthew Bellamy wailing over the music, before the reporter says hi to us again:

“The fundamental laws of thermodynamics will place fixed limits on technological innovation and human advancement. In an isolated system the entropy can only increase. A species set on endless growth is…”

And Mr. Robot greets us again with “Unsustainable”, followed by a few more measures of dubstep and the last line: “YOU’RE UNSUSTAINABLE”.

ISOLATED SYSTEM
A William Oldfield meets Daft Punk mix of piano and acoustic guitar sprinkles into your ears, and newsreel footage, heartbeats, and the key line of an explanation of thermodynamics kicks in. Dom comes in for some drum measures before the song dies out quietly The best way to think of this song is that you’re an astronaut in space, gone out to fix your ship. While fixing your ship, you hear what sounds like an awesome party going on on a far off planet… you’d like to go to this planet, but lord knows it’ll be over by the time you reach there. All you can do is stand and observe the planet’s majestic beauty before it’s time to report back to deck. All this happens whole the chilling line echoes through your head: “in an isolated system, the entropy can only increase…”

It took me a while, like all the other Muse albums, to fully get into The 2nd Law. In fact, I remember when I thought I’d never get into Origin of Symmetry! But Muse have yet again made an album that’s a reflection of their ever-growing experimentation while still being the Muse that we all know and love. Muse’s three man army always pumps out music that still has you saying to yourself in disbelief, “can you believe there’s only three?!, and they make no effort to hide that they’re really proud of themselves with what they do. Even if what Muse does doesn’t work, they still are respectable for defying the expectations of the usual fan, and this album is a testament to their ever-growing desire for experimentation, growth, and new sounds brought to their horizon.

And to end the review, here’s an explanation of the cover art.

According to Matthew Bellamy, the cover art is a drawing of all the pathways of the human brain, “tracking the circuits in our heads and how we process information with bright, neon colours.”

OVERALL: 8/10

The special edition’s contents. Very cool.

“Star Trek Into Darkness” IMAX Prologue review

It’s a bit of a ways away before I don my Scotty outfit and beam Jon Sinclair and I up to the midnight premiere, but before then, if you go see The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey in IMAX, you’ll have a chance to see the first ten minutes. I’ve been anticipating this film since 2009, when I walked out of the film’s predecessor with a big, stupid smile on my face. It’s been a bit of a wait, but as of tonight, finally getting to view some of the footage, I can already say that the movie cannot come soon enough.

So, for those of you too lazy and cheap to fork out $20 to see it in that nine story screen format, here’s a description of what I saw before my second viewing of Jackson’s return to middle earth tonight. I generally have a shitty memory so I apologize if I jump around or seem a bit… Vague.

WARNING: SPOILERS TO FOLLOW. IF YOU DON’T WANT THE OPENING TO BE SPOILED, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN ANY FURTHER.

The film opens in London, and an unnamed couple get in a car to head to the hospital. At the hospital, they go up to a bed with a very sick looking little girl, and outside the hospital on the deck, the mother begins to cry. After a while, her crying is interrupted by a deep British voice saying something along the lines of, “I can save your daughter.”

The mother turns around to reveal a handsome young man, smiling. He had a villainous air to him, and he’s played by Brit favourite Benedict Cumberbatch.

It is then were we zoom in in his face and we transition to IMAX shot mode. We then go to an unnamed planet, where Kirk and McCoy are running through a field of blossoms. I currently can’t remember exactly what they were doing, as what looks like an indigenous race is chasing after them. It’s this moment where the 3D really impresses; there’s a great deal of depth and the colours are ever so vibrant and bright. Even then, there’s a few cheap “stick out of the screen moments” where a harpoon is thrown, and believe me, I jumped right out of my seat at that moment!

At one point the camera tilts up, where a volcano is then seen with black smoke billowing from it.

Back on some ship above them, Sulu and Uhura are shown about to lower Spock into the center of the volcano, where he must deactivate it to save the tribe. Spock, being the logic cop he is, explains that he doesn’t want the Starfleet to risk their lives by saving him. (Spoiler alert: they choose to ignore him anyway, naturally). Spock is then lowered into the volcano, where he lands in the center. This is where the IMAX shot footage is really awesome; then screen is filled with footage of Spock in the center of the volcano as lava splashes around him and at times, even into the camera, and into the audience’s laps.

Kirk and McCoy run to the edge of a cliff where they dive off, and swim to the USS Enterprise. Upon entering the Enterprise, Scotty bellows at them about Spock and how they’re going to save him. Kirk tries to reassure Scotty by telling him that because the Enterprise is too big, Sulu and Uhura will pick him up in their ship, which will catch up with them. Back to the lens-flare infested main chamber, Chekhov and Scotty try arguing with Spock to allow them to rescue him, but Spock insists his plan. One particularly compelling moment is when Kirk asks McCoy what would happen if Kirk was in the volcano and Spock was with McCoy, and McCoy gives this final chilling line: “He’d let you die.”

As the enterprise try communicating with Spock, his radio cuts out. Bck in the volcano, Spock rises from his kneeling position and puts his hands out and… Cut to black. After a few IMAX shots, we are then shown the title: “Star Trek Into Darkness”.

END OF SPOILERS

So what are my thoughts?

First off, this is awesome stuff. I was held on the edge of the seat for the duration of the footage, and was eagerly left awaiting the other 111 minutes of the movie. The pacing is tight and constant, Abrams’ brilliant eye for shot was clear and his use of the IMAX camera was suitable for such a film. Though do be warned- if you’re expecing vertigo inducing shots like Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, like how we got several views looking down from the Burj Khalifa, you’ll be disappointed. This is more for Dark Knight Rises type shots, which made everything seem so bigger.

Another disappointment, though just a slight gripe, is that the interior shots are all 35mm and the outside shots are IMAX. It would be preferable to have had the whole scene in IMAX, like in TDKR, but otherwise, I was left very impressed. I also loved the ambiguity of the scene as well. Why is Spock just standing in the middle of the volcano? Who is Benedict Cumberbatch?

That being said, I was left hanging with this footage, and May 16 cannot come soon enough. Jon, time to suit up!

FILM REVIEW: Paranormal Activity 4

COUNTRY: USA
STARRING: Katie Featherston
DIRECTED BY: Henry Joost, Ariel Schuman
RUNTIME: 88 Minutes
RATING: 14A

If horror franchise history 101 has taught me one thing, it’s that usually the franchises start getting long in the tooth after the third movie. The only franchise I’ve seen an exception with that was the Friday the 13th series, where part IV was where the series became watchable. And be it no surprise that something like Paranormal Activity is something that manages to rake in money with every installment every year. The series before it that held the same claim to fame was the Saw franchise. And what do both of these have in common? Both peaked at the third movie. Sadly, Paranormal Activity is quickly becoming the new Saw franchise, something I’ve feared since before the second movie came out.

Yet, in a way, it makes more sense to drag the Paranormal franchise out than the Saw franchise. With Saw, Jigsaw died in the third movie, and we got a bunch of ridiculous whodunits, all amounting to some silly twist that read like a fanfic, with Dr. Gordon filling in for Jigsaw. Here, there hasn’t been any silly twists, since the series has made things more apparent with every movie about the origin of the demon, and even the idea of a satanic cult was interesting. I liked it when they brought it up in the third movie. Problem is, we’re on the fourth movie in the series now and really nothing has been done with it. I mean, yes, I could complain that the movie has repeated the same formula over and over again, but more on that later.

Having broken out of the sequel with a prequel formula, Paranormal 4 starts with a scene near the end of the second movie, where Katie and Hunter are sitting with Kristi by the side of the backyard pool, and she gives him a bracelet. Then a series of obligatory title cards, in the same typewriter font as the previous movies, explain what has happened so far. Right, as if we, the people who saw every movie in the series, needs to be explained to why and what happened. Then, we get the ending of the second movie, with Katie killing Kristi, running off with Hunter, and maybe a 2 second shot that’s completely new, where Katie walks out of the house with Hunter, and that same title card explaining how their whereabouts remain unknown. Already we’re 3 minutes into the movie and we haven’t got any new material… is the series really this out of ideas?

Anyways. We go to November 2011, in Henderson, Nevada. We’re focused on a new family, whose last name for some reason remains unknown. The mom and dad haven’t talked to each other a lot lately, and are on the verge of divorce. The daughter is a very beautiful and happy 15 year old with a cool boyfriend, who may be the only interesting character in this movie. Furthermore, they have an adopted 6-year-old named Wyatt, who’s parents remain unknown. They’ve been receiving mysterious visits from a creepy kid named Robbie, including an unwelcome visit in the family treehouse, and when an accident happens with his mom, he is forced to stay three days at their house. The boyfriend of Alex, the daughter, points out that the XBOX Kinect projects dots that are only visible on night vision video cams, that track movement. This was a gimmick I was hoping would work, kinda like the oscillating fan in the third movie, but sadly, it only served useful maybe once.

And so in the first night of his staying there, Alex hears a noise downstairs at 3 AM, and finds Robbie standing creepily in front of the Kinect. Some mysterious ghost, who runs behind him and shakes the house, appears, and this compels the boyfriend, who is tech savvy, to set up the family’s laptops in places around the house, and leave them open, as apparently they can record video even when they’re turned off. This was something else I was hoping would do some good, but really, it didn’t.

So, really nothing happens for this time period, but for a few things. One unexpected (but not really scary) moment is when a chandelier mysteriously drops from the ceiling, and Alex, holding the camera, pans the camera up to find Robbie sitting there, watching and staring in silence. Another moment is when a knife manages to disappear in one scene, and then, in another scene, falls down in front of the camera, startling the dad in the family. And there’s Katie’s appearances, which are good fun and Featherston, as expected, turns in a great performance as Ktie who is now completely possessed by the demon. There’s one good jump scare in the scene at the end, where Alex finds a demonic coven, then turns to find Demonic Katie launching for her. Mind you, we had to sit through 80 minutes of same old same old to get to that part, which is never a good sign.

By this point, it should become blazingly obvious what happens, even if you haven’t seen the first four movies. Which is the problem- this movie is one big, long prologue into the fifth movie. Nothing is done to advance the films plot, and by that, I mean NOTHING. Even Katie’s appearances and the twist ending involving Wyatt, do absolutely nothing to further the movie’s plot.

So maybe the movie really isn’t as bad as I may make it sound. It’s an OKAY film, if you’re a die-hard fan if the series. I’ll admit, I have seen worse. But since we’ve gotten four movies into the franchise, two being done by Henry Joost and Ariel Schumann, who both did a great job with the third movie (many because they had some documentary experience with fan favourite “Catfish”, which got lots of praise from critics and audience alike), and using the same formula, Oren Peli seems to not know where he’s going with this series. Hell, the formula from the third movie is repeated here. And believe me, it’s an even more stale version of the ending from Paranormal 3. In fact, I kid you not, as soon as the credits came up, the audience booed at the film. That’s a definite clue that the series has nowhere to go but forward, with the same formula under its belt, but even less scares than the original. Furthermore, the series has even sunk to the level of using jump scares and CG. the low budget first movie had one jump scare and no CG, 2 and 3 had maybe 2 or 3 with a small dash of CG. CG is everywhere in this movie and it’s unintentionally hilarious (does Tobey REALLY look like an alien?)

From an acting standpoint, the film isn’t bad per se. Katie Featherston is predictably great, and the boyfriend is great too. Reading his IMDb bio, I noticed that he’s been in theatre since the fourth grade, just like me. So its definitely not a surprise he can act. From an aesthetic standpoint is where the movie fails. I saw the movie in IMAX, and it’s baffling why it even got an IMAX release. Alright, the sound was great but more on that later. The movie’s shots can be divided into two categories: fuzzy, webcam style shots and shots of Alex’s face. And Alex is a pretty girl and all, but we don’t get enough of her parents either, which is a rarity for the franchise. From the third movie, Dennis was a fun character and the mother was funny, though bitchy. And the mother and father here uninteresting because WE SEE SO LITTLE OF THEM.

It’s worth a note that Robbie isn’t all that scary either. Kids get a bad rap In horror movies nowadays and it’s not hard to figure out why. Robbie is kinda creepy in his first appearance in the tree house, but after that he isn’t creepy at all. He confuses creepy stares with bored droning facial expressions, and seems like a little kid who is crabby because he can’t get that toy he wants.

So, finally, a word to Oren Peli. LET THIS THING DIE HERE. And perhaps fire the screenwriter, Christopher Landon, with it. Or at least find someone who can do something with Paranormal 5, since it hasn’t even been two days since the movie came out and already you have announced the fifth movie. I’m sure super special edition 4 disc directors cut blu-ray release with a holographic slipcase cover and a ticket to Paranormal Activity 5 will have all the special deleted scenes and alternate endings, but at this point, I don’t even care anymore. This movie is by no means a classic, and while I may have seen worse, it’s only a matter of time before this franchise devolved even further into Saw-itude.

-SCORES-
Overall: 3/10
Sex: 0/5
Violence: 2/5
Jumps: Too many of them
Chills: 1/5
Originality: 0/5
Franchise rate: On its way to becoming the next Saw

***Approach with caution***

FILM REVIEW: V/H/S

COUNTRY: USA
STARRING: Various unknowns
DIRECTED BY: Ensemble effort
RUNTIME: 115 minutes
RATING: 18A

I don’t think I’ve fallen in love with a horror film as instantaneously as I have with V/H/S. When I saw the trailer some time ago on Bloody-Disgusting,I thought “Hmmm, it looks sick, twisted, scary, funny… all of those things at once”. And the film promises to live up to that feel you get from the trailer. While the film isn’t in its cinematic release as of yet, and while a wide release seems out of the question, it really does deserve a wide cinematic release (hopefully sometime close to Halloween). While garbage like The Apparition seems to be filling cinema auditoriums and what not, it’s nice to be able to see a group of directors that really care about real horror.

V/H/S is a great movie because it has something for everyone in it. If you like Vampires, then you’ll love it. If you like demonic possession type horror, then this is for you. If you like campy horror comedy and black humour, then this is for you. Clocking in at 115 minutes, this marks the first time the anthology format has been brought to “found footage” shores, and as sick of the format as you may be, the film certainly manages to make the most out of it.

Without spoiling anything, here’s a short summary of the stories in order:

The first tape is essentially just an introduction which shows the gang of thugs, who discover the VHS tapes, going around and doing things like attempting to rape a girl, and breaking into a house. They are informed they have to steal a VHS tape from the house… except the sumble upon a crate of them, and a dead body. While the rest of the gang searches the house, one watches them all:

–AMATEUR NIGHT: Three guys go about with a pair of digital video camera glasses for a night on the town- getting drunk, smoking drugs,etc. They pick up two chicks, one of which is very unusual. When they attempt to have sex with her, they discover a shocking secret: she’s a vampire!!!!

–SECOND HONEYMOON: A girl decides to go on a road trip with her new boyfriend, across the grand canyon. They decide to hit up every desert town in the horizon, however things get just a tad bizarre when one night, a strange girl knocks on the door, asking them for a ride, which leads them to believe that they’re being followed.

–TUESDAY THE 17TH: this is a parody of the typical “stupid teenagers goto a cabin and do stupid bullshit then get brutally slaughtered” thing. It’s very well done and quite funny, I must say.

–THE SICK THING THAT HAPPENED TO EMILY WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER: this is a series of Skype conversations between the eponyomius “Emily” and her boyfriend, who is studying across the United States. She both keeps feeling this weird thing in her forearm and on top of it, her house is haunted.

–10/31/98: one Halloween night, a group of drunk guys go to a house that they are led to believe is the site of a party… And then it turns out the house is empty, except for a strange activity going on up in the attic.

I found this movie on iTunes, which was listed in the “Fantasia Film Fest” rentals section. While an iPad on a road trip back home from BC may not have been the best means of watching it, it nonetheless still managed to be a fun and scary time. While I’m getting tired of the whole found footage thing, that didn’t keep the film from being one of the best horrors to comeout in a while. As for what I think of each segment:

Amateur Night: This was a fun, fast and funny vampire story. The girl playing the vampire was cute and while the idea of webcam glasses seemed a tad bizarre, I loved the level of shocks/laughs in it. The being was a tad abrupt, I liked it. 4/5

Second Honeymoon: the only one of the segments I didn’t like. It felt out of place and the suspense was a non entity- didn’t feel nervous for the characters and though the twist was shocking enough, the buildup to it wasn’t enough. 2/5

Tuesday the 17th: a fun and quirky spoof. Some questionable dialogue (“I’d fuck me. Would you fuck me?” “yeah I probably would”) aside, I really enjoyed it, and I liked the idea of the killer being hyper-realistic, it really made it scarier. 4.5/5

…Emily…: This was my favourite of the films. There is a sense of unsease throughout the segment; the big twist at the end was shocking and comes out of nowhere- I’ll admit I was wide-eyed when the twist came, and when the whole cycle repeats again, that’s a great sinister way to end the story. 5/5

10/31/98: a very odd short, but I liked it. I liked how it was mostly in black and white. The crappy picture quality adds to the unsettling feel, and the last 5 minutes are heart poundingly intense. 4/5

So really, if you were to scrap Second Honeymoon and perhaps tighten up 10/31/98 a bit, this would be a perfect film. Other than those quibbles, I think it’s safe to say that while V/H/S may be far from perfect, it’s fun to watch and has something in store for all horror fans. And if you get a chance to watch it- do not turn it down, you will regret it!

4/5

FILM REVIEW: The Bourne Legacy

COUNTRY: USA
STARRING: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton
DIRECTED BY: Tony Gilroy
RUNTIME: 135 minutes
RATING: 14A

Both Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon joked sometime around the release of The Bourne Ultimatum that there would be a fourth movie entitled “The Bourne Redundancy”. After all, the Bourne book series did go on after Ultimatum, but it wasn’t without changes in writers and, sadly, character. And such a book named The Bourne Legacy would indeed be released, except it wasn’t released until after Ultimatum. Now I myself will admit I’ve only read the first two books in the series but not Ultimatum, and it looks like after The Bourne Redundancy… whoops, I mean Legacy, I won’t be any time soon.

That isn’t to say, however, that The Bourne Legacy is, in any way, a bad movie. Because it isn’t. It’s got quite a lot going for it. It’s just a tad disappointing, is all. This was one of my most anticipated movies of the summer, aside from The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers, both of which were absolutely stellar efforts. I mean, for one, I love the Bourne movies. I remember when my dad and my uncle took me to see The Bourne Supremacy upon its release in 2004. Since then it has become my favourite film in the series and my favourite of the series thus far. The movies it was sandwiched between were great too, though I do consider Ultimatum to be my least favourite of the original three.

The Bourne Legacy takes place at about the same time as the events in Ultimatum. While Bourne is on the run, Alex Cross (Jeremy Renner) is one of a few selected people put on a super soldier program entitled “Operation Outcome”, run by the CIA. He stays chemically enhanced physically and mentally with a set of multicoloured tablets that he stores in a necklace, named “chems”. He is to take a different colour at each different stage in the day. While deployed in Alaska for a training program, he pretends that he has run out of chems and stumbles upon another like him, named Number Three, staying with him to get some more chems before returning to civilization.

Meanwhile, the CIA has been giving others in the program a pill that they convince them will mean more chemical enhancement, without having to take multiple pills. This is really their way of shutting the program down, killing them, run by Eric Byer (Edward Norton), a retired air Forster commissioner. After he sends a drone to kill Number Three, he realizes Cross is still on the run, and will do whatever he can to finally kill Cross off. Cross comes across the doctor who provided him with the chems, Dr. Shearing (Rachel Weisz), and finds out a shocking secret about the process of being chemically enhanced and the way his body takes in the drugs, which leads them to Manila for one hell of an explosive climax.

There is quite a bit to like about The Bourne Legacy. For one, Jeremy freakin’ Renner. He is instant man crush fuel and this film does not disappoint in that regard. He can act up a storm and he is great for action scenes. And boy, is he beastly in this movie. He has a fair share of great action sequences throughout and if you came specifically to see him slap up some bad guys, then you’re in for a treat. Weisz is great as she always is and manages to do an American accent well, with no noticeable slips. The action sequences and chase sequences are fun to watch too, even if the movie becomes just a tad too reliant on action.

But there’s too much to hate for the movie too. For one, the story seems to not make much sense. The idea of super soldiers is interesting but they don’t do much to explain it, like when they bring in this idea of “viralling off”. They give a quick description of what it is, they do it, bam, it’s left in the dust as if it never existed. And it’s never really explained why they want to shut down the program. There was lots more they could have done with such a sinister subject.

Another issue is the characters are flat and boring. Cross himself isn’t even that interesting of a character. Even when it’s explained how he was put in the program, there isn’t much to salvage. It’s never a good sign when you don’t care about the antagonist too- as the saying goes, “a movie is only as good as its antagonist”, Byer doesn’t do much to lift himself from that trap.

In the third act, the term “an embarrassment of riches” comes to mind- the third act is too long, and is just chase scene after chase scene after chase scene and while the climatic motorbike chase is thrilling, at the same time it’s just… It’s like, the writers forgot the plot and just threw in as many chase scenes as they could.

If anything, think of The Bourne Legacy as a good chase movie. Because that’s what it is. It’s a decent film that’s entertaining and has plenty of great chase scenes and action. But as a Bourne movie… well, it’s that in name only, and despite Renner, is just a chase movie disguised in spy movie faff. And while it could have been a much, much worse movie,theres lots of ways it could have been better. By that, I mean “lots”.

3/5